What is Shadow-Work?
Shadow-work is a huge part of my coaching practice, particularly with mothers. So - what the heck is it? What can shadow-work provide for you?
What is Shadow Work?
Shadow-work is the process of uncovering the parts of yourself that you’ve kept hidden for years, so that you can tap into those hidden parts and reintegrate them in a mindful and healthy way.
Your shadow is a part of your psyche that lives in your subconscious mind, which means most of us are not aware that our shadow is there. The important thing to note here is that integration of your shadow is essential for self-awareness. And in my work with mamas, shadow-work can hold the key to being a more mindful and happy parent.
How do we get to know your shadow when it’s hidden in your psyche?
We attract our shadow through the mirrors of other people. The triggers we feel when we are around certain people (or perhaps, our spouses and children) teach us about our shadow. Here are a few questions to consider when you’re first getting to know your shadow-self:
What triggers you in other people, including your kids, spouse, family, and friends?
What are your best qualities?
What are the exact opposites of your best qualities? (These are your shadow qualities!)
What would happen if you become like your shadow?
When you can get clear about the above questions, your shadow begins to unearth itself and show you the aspects of yourself that have been shut down in your shadow for years or maybe decades. Most mamas I know are triggered by certain behaviors in their children. If this happens to you, it doesn’t mean you are a bad mother - it just means that you probably had some experiences when you were growing up that cause this triggered reaction.
For example, think about the aspects of yourself that you had to shut down as a child. Maybe you weren’t allowed to be loud or you had to make yourself small. These parts of you are unearthed in the triggers you experience with your children. When you notice your child being loud or obnoxious, you might have a reaction based on what you were not allowed to do growing up.
The Magic Of Shadow Work
The magic of shadow-work is the ability to live a life that’s more balanced and integrated. In order to be more present with our kids, it’s very helpful to bring these shadow qualities to the surface so you can move past the triggered phase into a more mindful way of being. When you reintegrate the parts of yourself that have been hidden in your shadow, you’ll have more patience with your kids, spouse, and everyone else! Most importantly, when you integrate these parts of yourself you are able to live into your true and authentic self. And THAT, my friend, is your true gift.
Interested in learning more about shadow-work? Sign up for your own mini-shadow session with me here.
